The Background and the conflictLi-Ting is a student in DC, and her boyfriend, Jason, is working in his father’s firm. Li-Ting and her boyfriend originally planned to travel somewhere this summer. They talked about where to go. They were thinking about going to either South America or Siberia. During the discussion, Jason asked Li-Ting about when the semester would end. However, when the final decision was revealed, Li-Ting found out that her boyfriend made a travel plan without taking her condition into consideration. Jason decided to go to Moscow through the Siberian railway and he thought they need to arrive at Moscow on the 5th June 2006 so he decided to take the Siberian railway while Li-Ting would still in the middle of her exams. They had a serious discussion about this trip. Jason insists on setting off from Beijing no later than early May but Li-Ting wishes for a later departure or a change of the plan proposed by Jason. Who is going to back down? Howare they going to deal with this issue? How can they achieve a better outcome?
Application of the principled negotiation to the two-party conflictFirst of all, the negotiators need to know themselves very well. A Chinese proverb says, “Knowing yourself and understanding your enemies are the open sesames of winning a war.” I think this proverb full of wisdom applies not only in wartime but also in daily life. Both sides should understand what personality they have before engaging in the negotiation. For that reason, it’s a good idea for both sides to do the Thomas-Kilmann conflict mode assessment before resuming the negotiation. Li-Ting has a more accommodating propensity but she also got high score in problem solving and in withdrawing. Jason, on the contrary, is not afraid of confrontation but at the same time he also has a tendency to withdraw.
According to Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving in , being hard or soft is not always good in a positional bargaining. Negotiations are actually in two folds. The first facet is that negotiations deal with the substance. The second one is that a negotiation emphasizes the procedure regarding the dealing with the substance. The authors proposed four methods to obtain a mutually satisfactory and tenable result.
According to the first advice in Getting to Yes, every negotiator has two kinds of relationship: the substantial interest and the relationship with the other side. As we know, the couple would like to maintain a long term relationship; hence, it’s very important to separate the person from the problem. Li-Ting should write down her fears and emotions in order to give these feelings a second thought. She should ask her boyfriend to do the same. They must not blame each other for the divergence of the plan; on the contrary, they should sit down side by side to solve the problem together. In this negotiation, the two parties need to bear in mind that they need to pay attention to what the other says and try to understand each other by asking questions but not questioning each other emotionally.
The second step to achieve a good negotiation is to deal with their respective interests. Hence, it’s pivotal to identify their interests first in order to facilitate the dialogue. One of the most basic needs for Li-Ting in this relationship is the sense of security. This can be identified through her anxiety that her boyfriend will travel alone and leave her behind. Jason’s interests lie in the facts that their friends are in Russia right now and that he could not travel safely without the Russian-speaking friends. Another concern that Jason has is that he does not like to make decisions which depend on others’ will. Both people have different interests, which caused the problem. Therefore, the date of departure is not the biggest issue. The fears of losing her boyfriend and not seeing him for the summer are Li-Ting’s underlying motives; the safe voyage and the control over his own schedule are the basic interests in Jason’s eye.
However, during the discussion, the divergence of interests did not emerge. She blamed him for his not waiting for her to take the train to Moscow and she started to look at the past and to search for the evidence to prove that he does not love her enough. What she did is to reveal her fear, which is good, but the problem is that she did not let him know her fears. She only posted her article in her personal journal in a website. It might be better for her to share these thoughts with the other side. If they both recognized each other’s interests, the negotiation might have been smoother.
In order to better identify Li-Ting’s position and limits, a detailed analysis of 9 elements for interest-based negotiations might help.
With aid of 9 element analysis
The 9 elements of an interest-based negotiation Li-Ting’s analysis
Context setting Parties Li-Ting
Jason (her boyfriend)
Jason’s father (for he is the boss of the company where Jason works): Does he agree to let the employee off for several months?
Li-Ting’s mother (for she provides the financial support): Is she going to pay for Li-Ting’s travel?
Li-Ting’s school advisor: She advises Li-Ting about the curriculum and she is the person who can approve Li-Ting’s study plan.
Issues When are they setting for Siberia? How is the travel going to be? Which route do they take after Russia?
Core elements Interests Does not want to quarrel with Jason
Wants to maintain a good relationship
Does not wish that her boyfriend travel alone without her
Also likes to travel
Options She can join her boyfriend later on after her final exams
She can go directly from DC to Beijing or Moscow
Jason could postpone the departure date
Standards Is it fair? Is the process of deciding the travel plan fair for both parties?
Exit elements Alternatives Li-Ting’s mother would probably offer her a chance to study in Prague in summer. →This is a BATNA.
Li-Ting can choose to do internship in Washington, DC.
Commitment If they reach a final plan for summer trip, is this plan feasible?
Influencing elements Communications Should Li-Ting disclose her anxiety and her fear? Does Jason really listen to her? Is the Internet instantaneous communication effective in solving the problem?
Relationship They are working to have a long term relationship. They want to build a deeper and more solid trust,
The third advice is to be creative and to invent a win-win option. In this case, the two parties need to explore more possibilities about the future travel. A more essential thing is that they should not insist on their original start point because this would preclude them from being creative. If both negotiators think their respective proposal is the best answer, it would be very difficult for them to break the ideology jail and the negotiators might ignore a better solution which will satisfy both sides. For example, the couple needs to brainstorm separately first for other possible actions and during the brainstorming, they had better use the circle chart analysis to come up with lots of options. This circle chart can really help Li-Ting to encompass as many possibilities as possible because this chart can prevent people from neglecting certain issues unconsciously. Both sides should make a repetitive use of this chart during the conflict resolution.
Diagnosis General Prescriptions/ Objectives
The reason why: Li-Ting chose to study in DC. She lives on her mother’s support. Jason works for more than one year and he has an independent fund. They both love travel but they don’t have the same occupation right now.
The gap: If Jason travels alone, he might date somebody else. The more she worries about it, the tenser the relationship will be. She still has 2 more semesters before getting her master degree. She does not have her economic independence. After the travel, Jason and Li-Ting will still be together despite the distance
They need to have a mutual trust in the relationship
Make Jason think more about the future and consider more Li-Ting’s condition
Gain the living and be economically independent
The Problem Specific Actions
What it is: Li-Ting studies in DC, and she is very far away from her boyfriend, Jason. He planned a travel, which Li-Ting did not feel comfortable about.
What’s the vision: Li-Ting wants to see her boyfriend in summer. Li-Ting and Jason would like to travel together once a while. They would live together after Li-Ting finishes her studies in DC. Ask her mother to pay for trip to Siberia→Then she can be with her boyfriend
Finish her studies earlier by taking courses in summer→she can go back to Taiwan earlier and start to earn her own living
Go to Prague for 6 credit class during the summer vacation
Build up a more solid trust and a better communication between the two parties
Choose to trust Jason and let him go to travel alone
The forth step is using objective criteria. As we know, Li-Ting has an accommodating tendency. She might think that backing down would be the best way to solve the conflict. Letting Jason take the train alone and then joining him in Moscow are successful at avoiding a fiercer confrontation. However, backing down on the subject of travel plan does not solve her real concern and does not help to develop a robust relationship. They would avoid dealing with their real problems if one party decides to bend his or her rules. They should talk about what she wants to accept and he does not want. They should establish objective criteria of determining the results. I propose hence that they can look at how a healthy boyfriend-girlfriend relationship should be and develop a framework acceptable for both as a criterion while dealing with each other’s concern. Two parties should also allow the other side to reason and to form the argument.
Conclusion
From the analysis, I came to a conclusion that this conflict is not due to the date of departure. The fundamental friction under the surface of this quarrel is that each party has different perception about the future. They should not regard each other as an enemy but a partner; thus, they will be able to stop picking the other side’s faults. They should discuss how they can do to improve the trust between them and be open to a deep, perhaps dolorous, conversation. If they are able to construct a better understanding about their couple life, the next negotiations could better address their concerns.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Love is
13/02/2006
While chatting with friends, they have had some issues with love recently. Everyone is somehow puzzled by love. I held a different point from a friend, saying that in love gives and takes are not necessarily equal. However, she does not agree. I don’t think that there is an absolute right or wrong; this acquaintance and I view the relationship in different ways.
Suddenly, I thought a about the verses from the Bible. The verses also talk about love. It would be a very good idea to write it down. “Love suffers long. Love is kind; it’s not jealous. Love does not brag and is not puffed up. It does not behave unbecomingly and does not seek its own things; it is not provoked and does not take account of evil. It does not rejoice because of unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.” These verses come from Corinthians 13: 4-7 and in the Bible this section is called the definition of love.
I think this might be one of the definitions. Love can be defined by individuals. However, it’s important to be tolerant and to understand. Do I not wish he loves me? Do I not hope his affection endures? Don’t take account of evil: I should never think about what he has not done. I have never wanted to set a barrier for him. For me, I am thankful for all the marvelous things that I have had with my baby for he is always my 100%.
Well, I don’t mean that I don’t have any problem. I still have a lot to conquer because of the reality. I suffered from the distance which separates Jason and I. He has his own schedule. He has his own plan. I am sometimes uncontrollably upset. However, I will try to believe all things and hope all things.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Friday, February 10, 2006
What Shakespeare thinks about love
SONNET 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
http://www.japantimes.com/shukan-st/special/poem/po20030117main.htm
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
http://www.japantimes.com/shukan-st/special/poem/po20030117main.htm
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
The survival kit for East Asia
Languages
In Japanese, people have a hesitation to say something clearly. People have tended to avoid saying anything directly; a listener needs to read between the lines. Recently, in lectures and speeches, Japanese people use more and more direct speech but still politicians would use a vague language.
“I’d love to” means no in Japan. They expect others to be very sensitive to their facial expressions and changes in tone. Once a person fails to meet their expectations and misses the signal, this person is recognized as “unsocial.” Hereafter, he will not be expected to understand the proper Japanese conversation.
“You” exists in 5 forms in Japanese. To the elder, people used another “you” to show the respect. The number 8 is lucky because the Chinese character of 8 signifies a broader future.
In Korean, as well as in China, 4 is also a number to avoid because its pronunciation resembles to the death. 7 is the good number. “You” exists in 4 or 5 forms in Korea.
However, Chinese has only 2 forms of “you” because the most important thing is to show the respect towards the elder. People of the same age are mainly called by the same manner.
In order to maintain the harmony, the business meetings are normally
Education
In East Asia, the education tends to be more hierarchical. Confucius and the traditional value taught the Asians that the education is a pivotal element of good governance. Teacher is a highly respected profession. Students are not encouraged to challenge teachers’ authority or speech.
Beyond the respect for the educators, the students need to compete with each other in order to get into a good university. Normally, students have to pass an entrance exam or several ones to get the admission. Hence, the students of good universities are proud of their academic background but at the same time they should be humble despite their achievement.
Geography
The isolation of the four islands of Japan means a lot. It’s not easy to let another culture come in. 1350 years ago, Chinese culture came into Japanese culture and Japan tried to integrate the Chinese culture into its own culture. After Edo period, Japan isolated themselves for 250 years. Japan was forced to open its borders to the American, and the Japanese average perception, even till now, is that the American or the foreigners in a broader sense is a threat.
On the contrary, China has many subjacent countries, and there are many minority peoples with China’s territory. This creates an open attitude towards the foreigner and to other cultures.
Korea is the bridge between China and Japan. Therefore, Korea has always been either China’s or Japan’s colony before the Republic of Korea was established. The culture is a mix of continental and oceanic culture.
Real life practices: How do you fit into the East-Asian life?
Dos and taboos…
A wedding
If you are invited to a friend’s wedding in Japan, you have to be careful. There are many customs to follow. The bride will dress in pearly white, and the groom will dress in dark-colored clothes. To congratulate the couple, people will give money with a white and red envelope with the gold and red strings, which is only used for the funeral in China.
In China, red is a good color, so wearing a red dress is one of the traditions for the bride. Guest who attended the banquet would give a red envelope with money inside to congratulate the newly-weds. The wedding is for two people so everything should be in pair. You should avoid the singular number like 1100 or the number 4.
In Korea, the wedding dress is the traditional dress. The bride wears a green and red skirt. The traditional wedding ceremonies surrounding the events have deep Confucian roots, symbolizing the importance of the families involved. To give your blessings to the couple, you can either prepare a gift or the money, but the money should be put in a white envelope.
The New Year celebration
As we know, this year is the dog year. New Year’s Day is on 29th January this year. How do the Chinese celebrate the Chinese New Year?
Chinese and Korean both celebrate the New Year according to the lunar calendar. In Taiwan the celebration lasts for 15 days. The Chinese New Year’s Eve is marked by the hot pot and the red envelopes. Parents and the elder in the family would give money to the younger ones as long as the young people are not married. For the first day, people would go to a temple, wishing for good luck for this year. The people who have the first prayer done would be very lucky.
In Korea, people will thank their ancestors in the morning of the New Year. Ddeu-kkuk, a rice-cake soup, will be prepared for the New Year’ Day.
In Japan, people only celebrate the New Year. They will eat with the family members. They would go to a shrine and make a wish after ringing the bell and then clapping hands.
Sadou, the tea ceremony
The purpose of the tea ceremony is to provide a good time. They share the atmosphere together; for example, you can go to have a tea and . It’s a special way to treat an important guest. When you are served a tea, you should take the tea with your two hands with respect, say thank you, and turn the tea bowl three times before you have a sip. After having the tea, you should return it to the host and say some praise for the good tea.
In Taiwan, the tea ceremony is completely different although they both demand the respect. When a Chinese treat a guest a tea, he is showing the hospitality and a guest should accept the tea. In Taiwan and China, it’s also the host that makes the tea. However, people use two cup to taste the tea. The first cup is taller and is only for the smell; the guest will drink in the second cup.
The colors
The yellow and purple used to be the colors for the royal family. The white is a color for funeral in China and in Korean. On the contrary, for a Japanese funeral, people will dress in pure black. The envelopes would be white for all occasions in Korea.
In Japanese, people have a hesitation to say something clearly. People have tended to avoid saying anything directly; a listener needs to read between the lines. Recently, in lectures and speeches, Japanese people use more and more direct speech but still politicians would use a vague language.
“I’d love to” means no in Japan. They expect others to be very sensitive to their facial expressions and changes in tone. Once a person fails to meet their expectations and misses the signal, this person is recognized as “unsocial.” Hereafter, he will not be expected to understand the proper Japanese conversation.
“You” exists in 5 forms in Japanese. To the elder, people used another “you” to show the respect. The number 8 is lucky because the Chinese character of 8 signifies a broader future.
In Korean, as well as in China, 4 is also a number to avoid because its pronunciation resembles to the death. 7 is the good number. “You” exists in 4 or 5 forms in Korea.
However, Chinese has only 2 forms of “you” because the most important thing is to show the respect towards the elder. People of the same age are mainly called by the same manner.
In order to maintain the harmony, the business meetings are normally
Education
In East Asia, the education tends to be more hierarchical. Confucius and the traditional value taught the Asians that the education is a pivotal element of good governance. Teacher is a highly respected profession. Students are not encouraged to challenge teachers’ authority or speech.
Beyond the respect for the educators, the students need to compete with each other in order to get into a good university. Normally, students have to pass an entrance exam or several ones to get the admission. Hence, the students of good universities are proud of their academic background but at the same time they should be humble despite their achievement.
Geography
The isolation of the four islands of Japan means a lot. It’s not easy to let another culture come in. 1350 years ago, Chinese culture came into Japanese culture and Japan tried to integrate the Chinese culture into its own culture. After Edo period, Japan isolated themselves for 250 years. Japan was forced to open its borders to the American, and the Japanese average perception, even till now, is that the American or the foreigners in a broader sense is a threat.
On the contrary, China has many subjacent countries, and there are many minority peoples with China’s territory. This creates an open attitude towards the foreigner and to other cultures.
Korea is the bridge between China and Japan. Therefore, Korea has always been either China’s or Japan’s colony before the Republic of Korea was established. The culture is a mix of continental and oceanic culture.
Real life practices: How do you fit into the East-Asian life?
Dos and taboos…
A wedding
If you are invited to a friend’s wedding in Japan, you have to be careful. There are many customs to follow. The bride will dress in pearly white, and the groom will dress in dark-colored clothes. To congratulate the couple, people will give money with a white and red envelope with the gold and red strings, which is only used for the funeral in China.
In China, red is a good color, so wearing a red dress is one of the traditions for the bride. Guest who attended the banquet would give a red envelope with money inside to congratulate the newly-weds. The wedding is for two people so everything should be in pair. You should avoid the singular number like 1100 or the number 4.
In Korea, the wedding dress is the traditional dress. The bride wears a green and red skirt. The traditional wedding ceremonies surrounding the events have deep Confucian roots, symbolizing the importance of the families involved. To give your blessings to the couple, you can either prepare a gift or the money, but the money should be put in a white envelope.
The New Year celebration
As we know, this year is the dog year. New Year’s Day is on 29th January this year. How do the Chinese celebrate the Chinese New Year?
Chinese and Korean both celebrate the New Year according to the lunar calendar. In Taiwan the celebration lasts for 15 days. The Chinese New Year’s Eve is marked by the hot pot and the red envelopes. Parents and the elder in the family would give money to the younger ones as long as the young people are not married. For the first day, people would go to a temple, wishing for good luck for this year. The people who have the first prayer done would be very lucky.
In Korea, people will thank their ancestors in the morning of the New Year. Ddeu-kkuk, a rice-cake soup, will be prepared for the New Year’ Day.
In Japan, people only celebrate the New Year. They will eat with the family members. They would go to a shrine and make a wish after ringing the bell and then clapping hands.
Sadou, the tea ceremony
The purpose of the tea ceremony is to provide a good time. They share the atmosphere together; for example, you can go to have a tea and . It’s a special way to treat an important guest. When you are served a tea, you should take the tea with your two hands with respect, say thank you, and turn the tea bowl three times before you have a sip. After having the tea, you should return it to the host and say some praise for the good tea.
In Taiwan, the tea ceremony is completely different although they both demand the respect. When a Chinese treat a guest a tea, he is showing the hospitality and a guest should accept the tea. In Taiwan and China, it’s also the host that makes the tea. However, people use two cup to taste the tea. The first cup is taller and is only for the smell; the guest will drink in the second cup.
The colors
The yellow and purple used to be the colors for the royal family. The white is a color for funeral in China and in Korean. On the contrary, for a Japanese funeral, people will dress in pure black. The envelopes would be white for all occasions in Korea.
Reflection on Sally Soprano Case
During this positional negotiation, I am not so at ease at first. I think it has to do with my lack of professional experience. I have rarely faced this kind of bargaining in real life practice so I don’t know how to cope with this situation. As an agent for Sally Soprano, I knew that I should act to meet Sally’s Interests. However, I didn’t know to which extent I should be aggressive or pushy.
According to the Thomas-Kilmann conflict mode instrument, I get 0 in competing, 7 in collaborating, 7 in compromising, 7 in avoiding and 9 in accommodating. I don’t like to get into discord with others. It does mean that I have a perfectly good temperament; I still have temper. Nonetheless, I have always tried to avoid the quarrel even though I feel the discontent because I am taught in this way and Taiwanese culture stresses a lot on the maintain of harmony. I am the eldest sister in my family, having a five-year younger brother. My mother had always told me to give in while my brother and I were fighting for the toys. It’s a big sister’s duty to fulfill the siblings’ wishes because the eldest should be more mature. Meanwhile, it’s very important to keep the harmony within the group and the society in East Asia. It’s a general phenomenon that a Japanese or a Chinese avoids to say “No” directly. To say “No” means a disturbance and an impoliteness in East-Asian society. Prior consultation is the technique used everywhere, which enables the negotiators to reach a tacit consensus. However, this kind of education and culture might get a negative effect when I need to deal with people whose standpoint is different from mine.
My partner, however, is not an aggressive person at the first sight. Neither he nor I wanted to touch the sensitive subjects. Hence, I figured out that one of us needs to mention them. I mentioned that the audition is not necessary, saying this would undermine my client’s reputation. He is mild but still insisted to have a chance to evaluate her voice despite my promise. I recognized that my counterpart is mild in appearance but he is tougher than I thought. Since he is stronger than I, I don’t want to confront him. I gave in at the end: we agreed on a charity solo concert, upon which the decision would be made. If I could have insisted more on the inutility of any kind of audition, I would have a better bargaining ground. Because I gave in, I was frustrated. Being mild is one thing; being imposed by others is another. Due to my background, I assess that I might be a little too mild during the negotiations. In the following week, I learned that we should act competitively, accommodatingly, or compromisingly based on strategies instead of our own nature. Therefore, for the next negotiation, I need to learn how to insist in my position. I need to learn how to say “No” without creating any discontent.
Another thing that I felt frustrated is that I did not explore the best option. I think that I was conservative about the gains although the salary was not my priority. I learned that the counterpart was actually able to offer much more than I finally got, which means that I could have done better. More is not necessary better in this case because I know the long term relations need a time to grow and also because getting the job is the most pivotal task that I had during this negotiation. I was not satisfied with the results but they were acceptable in terms of salary and audition; hence, I did not try to push further. However, I think it would be better for me to halt this propensity. I tend to reconcile when one of my objectives are met and I stop seeking for the best solution. Once I am content with what I have, I stop looking for the better outcome. Perhaps, I learned this from the international politics. If the other party is not oppressing me and if the offer does not damage my fundamental interests, I should accept it because getting to the agreement is the most important thing. I think that instead of being offered a price I should be the one who say the price first next time.
When the other party asked me about my client’s future engagement in other operas or occasions, I did not tell him that my client would like to join a TV opera show. I did not know why I hesitated to tell the truth to him and at that time I had a bad time at deciding to tell him or not. Being honest is a very important quality but in this case I was afraid that my honesty would damage my negotiation. I did not want to look vulnerable especially when the other party did not show its intention while asking. If the other party knows everything and the bottom line, I think I will lose the upper hand. Hence, I chose to say only part of the truth. If I had chosen to tell him, maybe we could work for a better result; even so, I did not know how much I should have told him. It comes back to the reason why I am suspicious to the other’s intention. Growing up in a happy family, I have had no trauma or any tragic event in my life. I don’t think human beings are evil or bad. I think it’s mainly because of my education. I was taught in school that the enemy and the rivals are not trustworthy. From the historical lessons, trusting your enemy would sometimes hurt you because they can really stab you to the core. In Chinese culture, we promote the notion that we can look at the bright side in every event but we need to be cautious too. I think being cautious is not a terrible attitude; being over-suspicious is. This could hinder my negotiation if I really doubt this person’s credibility and then I might miss the signal and misjudge his intention.
Finally, I assess that my negotiation is not really successful because nothing is certain in the end. I did not get the final decision from the other party. Following decisions all depend on the temporary agreement that I had. However, this solo concert does not guarantee my client’s job in the opera. I accept the uncertainty because there is surely a need for proving my party’s ability. On the other hand, I think it’s my intrinsic problem that I don’t like to push people to say the last word. Being a classmate or friend, this might be a good quality. However, being a negotiator, I think that this also means that at the end I would probably get nothing at all. For the next round of negotiation, I will try to get a more concrete promise.
According to the Thomas-Kilmann conflict mode instrument, I get 0 in competing, 7 in collaborating, 7 in compromising, 7 in avoiding and 9 in accommodating. I don’t like to get into discord with others. It does mean that I have a perfectly good temperament; I still have temper. Nonetheless, I have always tried to avoid the quarrel even though I feel the discontent because I am taught in this way and Taiwanese culture stresses a lot on the maintain of harmony. I am the eldest sister in my family, having a five-year younger brother. My mother had always told me to give in while my brother and I were fighting for the toys. It’s a big sister’s duty to fulfill the siblings’ wishes because the eldest should be more mature. Meanwhile, it’s very important to keep the harmony within the group and the society in East Asia. It’s a general phenomenon that a Japanese or a Chinese avoids to say “No” directly. To say “No” means a disturbance and an impoliteness in East-Asian society. Prior consultation is the technique used everywhere, which enables the negotiators to reach a tacit consensus. However, this kind of education and culture might get a negative effect when I need to deal with people whose standpoint is different from mine.
My partner, however, is not an aggressive person at the first sight. Neither he nor I wanted to touch the sensitive subjects. Hence, I figured out that one of us needs to mention them. I mentioned that the audition is not necessary, saying this would undermine my client’s reputation. He is mild but still insisted to have a chance to evaluate her voice despite my promise. I recognized that my counterpart is mild in appearance but he is tougher than I thought. Since he is stronger than I, I don’t want to confront him. I gave in at the end: we agreed on a charity solo concert, upon which the decision would be made. If I could have insisted more on the inutility of any kind of audition, I would have a better bargaining ground. Because I gave in, I was frustrated. Being mild is one thing; being imposed by others is another. Due to my background, I assess that I might be a little too mild during the negotiations. In the following week, I learned that we should act competitively, accommodatingly, or compromisingly based on strategies instead of our own nature. Therefore, for the next negotiation, I need to learn how to insist in my position. I need to learn how to say “No” without creating any discontent.
Another thing that I felt frustrated is that I did not explore the best option. I think that I was conservative about the gains although the salary was not my priority. I learned that the counterpart was actually able to offer much more than I finally got, which means that I could have done better. More is not necessary better in this case because I know the long term relations need a time to grow and also because getting the job is the most pivotal task that I had during this negotiation. I was not satisfied with the results but they were acceptable in terms of salary and audition; hence, I did not try to push further. However, I think it would be better for me to halt this propensity. I tend to reconcile when one of my objectives are met and I stop seeking for the best solution. Once I am content with what I have, I stop looking for the better outcome. Perhaps, I learned this from the international politics. If the other party is not oppressing me and if the offer does not damage my fundamental interests, I should accept it because getting to the agreement is the most important thing. I think that instead of being offered a price I should be the one who say the price first next time.
When the other party asked me about my client’s future engagement in other operas or occasions, I did not tell him that my client would like to join a TV opera show. I did not know why I hesitated to tell the truth to him and at that time I had a bad time at deciding to tell him or not. Being honest is a very important quality but in this case I was afraid that my honesty would damage my negotiation. I did not want to look vulnerable especially when the other party did not show its intention while asking. If the other party knows everything and the bottom line, I think I will lose the upper hand. Hence, I chose to say only part of the truth. If I had chosen to tell him, maybe we could work for a better result; even so, I did not know how much I should have told him. It comes back to the reason why I am suspicious to the other’s intention. Growing up in a happy family, I have had no trauma or any tragic event in my life. I don’t think human beings are evil or bad. I think it’s mainly because of my education. I was taught in school that the enemy and the rivals are not trustworthy. From the historical lessons, trusting your enemy would sometimes hurt you because they can really stab you to the core. In Chinese culture, we promote the notion that we can look at the bright side in every event but we need to be cautious too. I think being cautious is not a terrible attitude; being over-suspicious is. This could hinder my negotiation if I really doubt this person’s credibility and then I might miss the signal and misjudge his intention.
Finally, I assess that my negotiation is not really successful because nothing is certain in the end. I did not get the final decision from the other party. Following decisions all depend on the temporary agreement that I had. However, this solo concert does not guarantee my client’s job in the opera. I accept the uncertainty because there is surely a need for proving my party’s ability. On the other hand, I think it’s my intrinsic problem that I don’t like to push people to say the last word. Being a classmate or friend, this might be a good quality. However, being a negotiator, I think that this also means that at the end I would probably get nothing at all. For the next round of negotiation, I will try to get a more concrete promise.
A thought on Giddens and his ideas
The ideas proposed by Anthony Giddens
In the book Conversations with Anthony Giddens-Making Sense of Modernity, I got to have some ideas proposed by Giddens throughout his academic endeavors. This book consists of 7 major themes, including his famous theory of structuration, modernity and his point view about the world politics. In this essay, I will try to look at some view points of Giddens’ and then I will try to address these problems myself with aid of his assertions.
How about the modernity?
The book is about making sense of modernity as it indicates from the title. Modernity is associated with a certain set of attitudes towards the world, a complex of economic institutions and a certain range of political institutions. These characteristics make modernity more dynamic as a social order. I think that modernity is actually at the center of gravity in his thoughts. His theory about the structure is generated because of the idea too. When he talks about the world politics, he also infers to the modernity.
What kind of social order are we facing in the 21st century? Although Giddens thinks that Marx is wrong about the mutation of capitalism to socialism, he does prefer Marx treatment of modernity. Marx’s approach is more suitable for the modern society where we are living. For Marx, the economic structure determines the upper building: the political choice. In this way, Marxism is better at deciphering the contemporary society: economic influences have a more distinguishable and profound effect in the modern society than in the previous forms. (Page 95) This is a particular characteristic of capitalism. Take Taiwan for instance Taiwan is tightly linked to the economy of USA and Japan because of the massive consumption of Japanese products and American movies. People are prone to accept Japanese values and USA’s thinking. This is reconstituting the Taiwanese society everyday. This economic interdependence translates into the changes in governance.
Giddens then talked about the risk society and the post-modernism. To him, post-modernism sees politics as an end and political power fades away with the passing of modernity. The modernity takes on new meanings and subtleties. (Page 217) This leads to his important theory.
How to capture the complex and non-linear nature of international affairs?Anthony Giddens proposed the Theory of Structuration in The Constitution of Society (1984). This theory aims at reconciling theoretical dichotomies of social systems such as agency/structure, subjective/objective, and micro/macro perspectives, which consider individuals as either acted upon (as elements within a structural context) or as autonomous agents. The approach does not focus on the individual actor or societal totality "but social practices ordered across space and time" (p. 2). Its proponents adopt this balanced position, attempting to treat influences of structure (which inherently includes culture) and agency equally.
In the article Courage Versus Caution: A Dialogue on Entering and Prospering in IR , Ersel Aydinli said that Professor James N. Rosenau is a scholar of change. The article also mentioned that Professor Rosenau labeled himself as a pro-post modernist whereas he said that it’s a parody. In his point of view, the solution lies in agent-based modeling through computer simulations. This is also what I found out through the reading of Complexity . This agent-based thing has a link to Anthony Giddens’ theory.
In the analysis of IR, I think that normally we see things through a deductive lens. What Giddens suggested is that the micro level of analysis is equally important. People thought that the individual was and quite often the same was true of society. However, Giddens thinks that the society is not a status quo but a series ongoing activities and practices that people carry on and that these practices at the same time reproduce larger institutions. Why are structural changes possible? The international system is a complex for many reasons. First, the structure itself has become a multi-facet one. Societies are driven by many different forces. Second, the structure intersects. Hence, the structure is changing as the social life is flowing actively. In this way, I assimilated the international structure to the social life. We should put emphasis on the agencies which continue the activities under the structure. The forces of non-profit organizations are not negligible. The way that individuals behave has changed too. We need thus new methodology to rethink the bigger structure. Probably we need to understand the international relations by an inductive way to complete our understanding of IR.
How to deal with the globalization?
Globalization poses a challenge for the studies of IR. We need to track down the character of future trajectory of political authority as it is being reconstituted at the global level. Giddens think that the nature and structure of governments might need to change. However, he does not agree on the idea that governments should be shrunken to a minimal size. Liberalists think that the governments should be shrunken to their smallest essentials and that market will take control over the society. Giddens thinks that it’s ridiculous to think about minimizing the government to a local level in a global age. On the contrary, “social solidarity depends upon good government at all levels”. (Page 172) We need to invent a new form of government which will be different to the classical nation-state.
He also mentioned that European Union has to be seen now as both an expression of and a response to globalization. (Page 178) The increase of the transnational exchanges has led to a need for a bigger economic bloc. The economy of scale is the best way to help the industries to deal with the international trade. If a country is not big enough, the market is not big enough to absorb its own production The European Union creates an economy of scale and at the same time the goods and labor can flow more freely. Hence, I agree with Giddens on the European Union as a pioneering response to the globalization. This book is published in 1998 and since then the EU has had many new developments. The euro is now circulating in the world, which fits into Balassa’s model. Balassa thinks that the highest level of economic integration is becoming one economic entity after issuing the unique currency. Whether the EU is going to be one political and economic entity remains a question. However, many people blame the European slow economic growth to the asymmetry within the EU. The economic policy is concerted but not harmonized. Every country is different. The shock strikes the continent as a whole but every country’s reaction differs from the others. Yes, the response should be tailor-made, but if the European Central Bank can take decision for the member countries, it can allocate the resources more efficiently. The top-down vision might be a better way to have a really fully integrated economy. Giddens thinks that Europe won’t and can’t look like a super nation-state, with a common culture. It seems to me that Giddens does not want to see a unified Europe. He thinks that EU is a cosmopolitan society. In my eyes, the EU needs to a common identity to improve its economic growth. The mere monetary union is not enough. To consolidate what the Europeans have already built, we need also a down-top method.
Conclusion
In short, Conversations with Anthony Giddens: Making Sense of Modernity opened my eye. It gave me an entry to Anthony Giddens’ thinking and facilitated my understanding about his theories. Among all the forces, modernity is a force that we cannot neglect. We have to review the structure of society because the society is under a perpetual transformation. The government also needs to reinvent itself in the modern society.
In the book Conversations with Anthony Giddens-Making Sense of Modernity, I got to have some ideas proposed by Giddens throughout his academic endeavors. This book consists of 7 major themes, including his famous theory of structuration, modernity and his point view about the world politics. In this essay, I will try to look at some view points of Giddens’ and then I will try to address these problems myself with aid of his assertions.
How about the modernity?
The book is about making sense of modernity as it indicates from the title. Modernity is associated with a certain set of attitudes towards the world, a complex of economic institutions and a certain range of political institutions. These characteristics make modernity more dynamic as a social order. I think that modernity is actually at the center of gravity in his thoughts. His theory about the structure is generated because of the idea too. When he talks about the world politics, he also infers to the modernity.
What kind of social order are we facing in the 21st century? Although Giddens thinks that Marx is wrong about the mutation of capitalism to socialism, he does prefer Marx treatment of modernity. Marx’s approach is more suitable for the modern society where we are living. For Marx, the economic structure determines the upper building: the political choice. In this way, Marxism is better at deciphering the contemporary society: economic influences have a more distinguishable and profound effect in the modern society than in the previous forms. (Page 95) This is a particular characteristic of capitalism. Take Taiwan for instance Taiwan is tightly linked to the economy of USA and Japan because of the massive consumption of Japanese products and American movies. People are prone to accept Japanese values and USA’s thinking. This is reconstituting the Taiwanese society everyday. This economic interdependence translates into the changes in governance.
Giddens then talked about the risk society and the post-modernism. To him, post-modernism sees politics as an end and political power fades away with the passing of modernity. The modernity takes on new meanings and subtleties. (Page 217) This leads to his important theory.
How to capture the complex and non-linear nature of international affairs?Anthony Giddens proposed the Theory of Structuration in The Constitution of Society (1984). This theory aims at reconciling theoretical dichotomies of social systems such as agency/structure, subjective/objective, and micro/macro perspectives, which consider individuals as either acted upon (as elements within a structural context) or as autonomous agents. The approach does not focus on the individual actor or societal totality "but social practices ordered across space and time" (p. 2). Its proponents adopt this balanced position, attempting to treat influences of structure (which inherently includes culture) and agency equally.
In the article Courage Versus Caution: A Dialogue on Entering and Prospering in IR , Ersel Aydinli said that Professor James N. Rosenau is a scholar of change. The article also mentioned that Professor Rosenau labeled himself as a pro-post modernist whereas he said that it’s a parody. In his point of view, the solution lies in agent-based modeling through computer simulations. This is also what I found out through the reading of Complexity . This agent-based thing has a link to Anthony Giddens’ theory.
In the analysis of IR, I think that normally we see things through a deductive lens. What Giddens suggested is that the micro level of analysis is equally important. People thought that the individual was and quite often the same was true of society. However, Giddens thinks that the society is not a status quo but a series ongoing activities and practices that people carry on and that these practices at the same time reproduce larger institutions. Why are structural changes possible? The international system is a complex for many reasons. First, the structure itself has become a multi-facet one. Societies are driven by many different forces. Second, the structure intersects. Hence, the structure is changing as the social life is flowing actively. In this way, I assimilated the international structure to the social life. We should put emphasis on the agencies which continue the activities under the structure. The forces of non-profit organizations are not negligible. The way that individuals behave has changed too. We need thus new methodology to rethink the bigger structure. Probably we need to understand the international relations by an inductive way to complete our understanding of IR.
How to deal with the globalization?
Globalization poses a challenge for the studies of IR. We need to track down the character of future trajectory of political authority as it is being reconstituted at the global level. Giddens think that the nature and structure of governments might need to change. However, he does not agree on the idea that governments should be shrunken to a minimal size. Liberalists think that the governments should be shrunken to their smallest essentials and that market will take control over the society. Giddens thinks that it’s ridiculous to think about minimizing the government to a local level in a global age. On the contrary, “social solidarity depends upon good government at all levels”. (Page 172) We need to invent a new form of government which will be different to the classical nation-state.
He also mentioned that European Union has to be seen now as both an expression of and a response to globalization. (Page 178) The increase of the transnational exchanges has led to a need for a bigger economic bloc. The economy of scale is the best way to help the industries to deal with the international trade. If a country is not big enough, the market is not big enough to absorb its own production The European Union creates an economy of scale and at the same time the goods and labor can flow more freely. Hence, I agree with Giddens on the European Union as a pioneering response to the globalization. This book is published in 1998 and since then the EU has had many new developments. The euro is now circulating in the world, which fits into Balassa’s model. Balassa thinks that the highest level of economic integration is becoming one economic entity after issuing the unique currency. Whether the EU is going to be one political and economic entity remains a question. However, many people blame the European slow economic growth to the asymmetry within the EU. The economic policy is concerted but not harmonized. Every country is different. The shock strikes the continent as a whole but every country’s reaction differs from the others. Yes, the response should be tailor-made, but if the European Central Bank can take decision for the member countries, it can allocate the resources more efficiently. The top-down vision might be a better way to have a really fully integrated economy. Giddens thinks that Europe won’t and can’t look like a super nation-state, with a common culture. It seems to me that Giddens does not want to see a unified Europe. He thinks that EU is a cosmopolitan society. In my eyes, the EU needs to a common identity to improve its economic growth. The mere monetary union is not enough. To consolidate what the Europeans have already built, we need also a down-top method.
Conclusion
In short, Conversations with Anthony Giddens: Making Sense of Modernity opened my eye. It gave me an entry to Anthony Giddens’ thinking and facilitated my understanding about his theories. Among all the forces, modernity is a force that we cannot neglect. We have to review the structure of society because the society is under a perpetual transformation. The government also needs to reinvent itself in the modern society.
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