Principled Negotiations Paper

The Background and the conflictLi-Ting is a student in DC, and her boyfriend, Jason, is working in his father’s firm. Li-Ting and her boyfriend originally planned to travel somewhere this summer. They talked about where to go. They were thinking about going to either South America or Siberia. During the discussion, Jason asked Li-Ting about when the semester would end. However, when the final decision was revealed, Li-Ting found out that her boyfriend made a travel plan without taking her condition into consideration. Jason decided to go to Moscow through the Siberian railway and he thought they need to arrive at Moscow on the 5th June 2006 so he decided to take the Siberian railway while Li-Ting would still in the middle of her exams. They had a serious discussion about this trip. Jason insists on setting off from Beijing no later than early May but Li-Ting wishes for a later departure or a change of the plan proposed by Jason. Who is going to back down? Howare they going to deal with this issue? How can they achieve a better outcome?

Application of the principled negotiation to the two-party conflictFirst of all, the negotiators need to know themselves very well. A Chinese proverb says, “Knowing yourself and understanding your enemies are the open sesames of winning a war.” I think this proverb full of wisdom applies not only in wartime but also in daily life. Both sides should understand what personality they have before engaging in the negotiation. For that reason, it’s a good idea for both sides to do the Thomas-Kilmann conflict mode assessment before resuming the negotiation. Li-Ting has a more accommodating propensity but she also got high score in problem solving and in withdrawing. Jason, on the contrary, is not afraid of confrontation but at the same time he also has a tendency to withdraw.

According to Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving in , being hard or soft is not always good in a positional bargaining. Negotiations are actually in two folds. The first facet is that negotiations deal with the substance. The second one is that a negotiation emphasizes the procedure regarding the dealing with the substance. The authors proposed four methods to obtain a mutually satisfactory and tenable result.
According to the first advice in Getting to Yes, every negotiator has two kinds of relationship: the substantial interest and the relationship with the other side. As we know, the couple would like to maintain a long term relationship; hence, it’s very important to separate the person from the problem. Li-Ting should write down her fears and emotions in order to give these feelings a second thought. She should ask her boyfriend to do the same. They must not blame each other for the divergence of the plan; on the contrary, they should sit down side by side to solve the problem together. In this negotiation, the two parties need to bear in mind that they need to pay attention to what the other says and try to understand each other by asking questions but not questioning each other emotionally.
The second step to achieve a good negotiation is to deal with their respective interests. Hence, it’s pivotal to identify their interests first in order to facilitate the dialogue. One of the most basic needs for Li-Ting in this relationship is the sense of security. This can be identified through her anxiety that her boyfriend will travel alone and leave her behind. Jason’s interests lie in the facts that their friends are in Russia right now and that he could not travel safely without the Russian-speaking friends. Another concern that Jason has is that he does not like to make decisions which depend on others’ will. Both people have different interests, which caused the problem. Therefore, the date of departure is not the biggest issue. The fears of losing her boyfriend and not seeing him for the summer are Li-Ting’s underlying motives; the safe voyage and the control over his own schedule are the basic interests in Jason’s eye.
However, during the discussion, the divergence of interests did not emerge. She blamed him for his not waiting for her to take the train to Moscow and she started to look at the past and to search for the evidence to prove that he does not love her enough. What she did is to reveal her fear, which is good, but the problem is that she did not let him know her fears. She only posted her article in her personal journal in a website. It might be better for her to share these thoughts with the other side. If they both recognized each other’s interests, the negotiation might have been smoother.
In order to better identify Li-Ting’s position and limits, a detailed analysis of 9 elements for interest-based negotiations might help.

With aid of 9 element analysis

The 9 elements of an interest-based negotiation Li-Ting’s analysis
Context setting Parties  Li-Ting
 Jason (her boyfriend)
 Jason’s father (for he is the boss of the company where Jason works): Does he agree to let the employee off for several months?
 Li-Ting’s mother (for she provides the financial support): Is she going to pay for Li-Ting’s travel?
 Li-Ting’s school advisor: She advises Li-Ting about the curriculum and she is the person who can approve Li-Ting’s study plan.
Issues When are they setting for Siberia? How is the travel going to be? Which route do they take after Russia?
Core elements Interests  Does not want to quarrel with Jason
 Wants to maintain a good relationship
 Does not wish that her boyfriend travel alone without her
 Also likes to travel
Options  She can join her boyfriend later on after her final exams
 She can go directly from DC to Beijing or Moscow
 Jason could postpone the departure date
Standards  Is it fair? Is the process of deciding the travel plan fair for both parties?
Exit elements Alternatives  Li-Ting’s mother would probably offer her a chance to study in Prague in summer. →This is a BATNA.
 Li-Ting can choose to do internship in Washington, DC.
Commitment If they reach a final plan for summer trip, is this plan feasible?
Influencing elements Communications Should Li-Ting disclose her anxiety and her fear? Does Jason really listen to her? Is the Internet instantaneous communication effective in solving the problem?
Relationship They are working to have a long term relationship. They want to build a deeper and more solid trust,

The third advice is to be creative and to invent a win-win option. In this case, the two parties need to explore more possibilities about the future travel. A more essential thing is that they should not insist on their original start point because this would preclude them from being creative. If both negotiators think their respective proposal is the best answer, it would be very difficult for them to break the ideology jail and the negotiators might ignore a better solution which will satisfy both sides. For example, the couple needs to brainstorm separately first for other possible actions and during the brainstorming, they had better use the circle chart analysis to come up with lots of options. This circle chart can really help Li-Ting to encompass as many possibilities as possible because this chart can prevent people from neglecting certain issues unconsciously. Both sides should make a repetitive use of this chart during the conflict resolution.


Diagnosis General Prescriptions/ Objectives
 The reason why: Li-Ting chose to study in DC. She lives on her mother’s support. Jason works for more than one year and he has an independent fund. They both love travel but they don’t have the same occupation right now.
 The gap: If Jason travels alone, he might date somebody else. The more she worries about it, the tenser the relationship will be. She still has 2 more semesters before getting her master degree. She does not have her economic independence.  After the travel, Jason and Li-Ting will still be together despite the distance
 They need to have a mutual trust in the relationship
 Make Jason think more about the future and consider more Li-Ting’s condition
 Gain the living and be economically independent
The Problem Specific Actions
 What it is: Li-Ting studies in DC, and she is very far away from her boyfriend, Jason. He planned a travel, which Li-Ting did not feel comfortable about.
 What’s the vision: Li-Ting wants to see her boyfriend in summer. Li-Ting and Jason would like to travel together once a while. They would live together after Li-Ting finishes her studies in DC.  Ask her mother to pay for trip to Siberia→Then she can be with her boyfriend
 Finish her studies earlier by taking courses in summer→she can go back to Taiwan earlier and start to earn her own living
 Go to Prague for 6 credit class during the summer vacation
 Build up a more solid trust and a better communication between the two parties
 Choose to trust Jason and let him go to travel alone

The forth step is using objective criteria. As we know, Li-Ting has an accommodating tendency. She might think that backing down would be the best way to solve the conflict. Letting Jason take the train alone and then joining him in Moscow are successful at avoiding a fiercer confrontation. However, backing down on the subject of travel plan does not solve her real concern and does not help to develop a robust relationship. They would avoid dealing with their real problems if one party decides to bend his or her rules. They should talk about what she wants to accept and he does not want. They should establish objective criteria of determining the results. I propose hence that they can look at how a healthy boyfriend-girlfriend relationship should be and develop a framework acceptable for both as a criterion while dealing with each other’s concern. Two parties should also allow the other side to reason and to form the argument.

Conclusion
From the analysis, I came to a conclusion that this conflict is not due to the date of departure. The fundamental friction under the surface of this quarrel is that each party has different perception about the future. They should not regard each other as an enemy but a partner; thus, they will be able to stop picking the other side’s faults. They should discuss how they can do to improve the trust between them and be open to a deep, perhaps dolorous, conversation. If they are able to construct a better understanding about their couple life, the next negotiations could better address their concerns.